A married couple who regularly takes solo international trips faces constant questions about whether their relationship is okay. Their answer challenges traditional assumptions about travel, marriage, and personal growth.
The couple travels together on long-distance trips every 12-18 months, plus shorter trips in between. Traveling together is easy, but the wife has allergies that limit destination choices. So the husband also travels alone—at least 50% of his trips—to places like India, Japan, and South America that would be difficult for her.
He's also encouraging her to take solo trips. As an introvert, solo travel pushes him far outside his comfort zone. He "hates it, but loves it"—the classic paradox of challenging yourself in ways that matter.
The Reddit post notes that other couples, particularly married ones, find this arrangement very odd. The wife's parents are especially confused. When either partner heads off alone for 1-2 weeks, people keep asking if they're okay.
The social stigma around married people traveling independently reveals deep cultural assumptions: that couples should do everything together, that separate vacations indicate relationship problems, and that marriage means sacrificing individual adventures.
But experienced solo travelers in relationships tell a different story. Separate trips allow each person to pursue interests the other doesn't share, whether that's adventure activities one partner finds terrifying or destinations the other can't visit for health reasons.
Solo travel also provides different benefits than couple travel. When traveling with a partner, decisions are negotiated and compromises made. Solo travel means confronting decisions alone, navigating challenges without backup, and developing self-reliance that couples travel doesn't require.
For introverts especially, solo travel creates necessary discomfort. Without a partner to handle social interactions or logistics, you're forced to engage in ways you might avoid otherwise. That growth doesn't happen as readily when traveling as a couple.
There's also the simple reality that people have different travel styles and interests. One partner might want to spend two weeks hiking in the Himalayas while the other prefers beach resorts. One might want to explore art museums while the other wants adventure sports. Separate trips mean nobody has to compromise or feel guilty about dragging their partner to something they don't enjoy.
The key to making solo travel work in a relationship seems to be mutual encouragement rather than one partner traveling while the other stays home resentfully. This couple actively encourages each other to take solo trips, recognizing that the experiences and personal growth each person gains benefits the relationship.
It also helps when both partners understand that solo travel isn't about escaping the relationship—it's about pursuing experiences that matter to you individually. The husband travels to places his wife can't visit due to allergies. That's not rejection; it's practical problem-solving.
There's an interesting parallel to the solo travel while married question: many people assume that if you're in a relationship, you should spend all your free time together. But healthy relationships often involve maintaining individual interests, friendships, and experiences outside the partnership.
Solo travel is just a more visible version of that independence. It's easier to explain "I'm going to dinner with friends" than "I'm going to Japan for two weeks," but the principle is the same: maintaining your individual identity within the relationship.
For couples considering separate trips, experienced travelers recommend starting small. A long weekend solo trip is less intimidating than two weeks abroad. Communicate clearly about why you want to go and what you hope to gain from the experience. Make sure both partners feel supported in pursuing their own adventures.
And be prepared for awkward questions from family and friends who don't understand. You don't owe anyone a justification for how your relationship works, as long as both partners are happy with the arrangement.
The best travel isn't about conforming to others' expectations of what couples should do together. It's about each person pursuing the experiences that matter to them—sometimes together, sometimes apart, always supportively.
