A 38-year-old solopreneur has spent 3-4 years living the digital nomad dream - moving across Europe every 3-6 months, bootstrapping a business, working from cafes. But instead of fulfillment, they're experiencing depression, isolation, and a growing sense that unlimited freedom has become a prison.
Their candid post on Reddit reveals the dark side of perpetual travel that glossy Instagram nomad content never shows - and it's resonating with others who've discovered that location independence doesn't solve loneliness.
The Mundane Reality
"Days feel mundane and I just grind through them," they wrote. "Typically I just start working from home, then go to some coffee shop to continue work for 3-4 hours, then get back home, play a bit Nintendo and sleep. Sometimes might hit the gym."
This is the digital nomad lifestyle stripped of its romantic veneer: working alone, in different cities, with no community. The location changes, but the isolation doesn't.
For the past year, they've been solo bootstrapping a project while living off savings - meaning no coworkers, no clients to meet, no external structure forcing human interaction. "I don't lay in bed the whole day," they clarified - they're functional, not clinically depressed in a crisis sense. But they suspect they "might be a bit depressed."
When Meetups Stop Working
The standard advice for lonely nomads is: go to meetups. They tried. It didn't help.
"In the past I'd go to meetups but I've given up now, since they seem always like sausage fest with not anything interesting going on," they explained.
This frustration echoes across digital nomad forums. Meetups in nomad hubs like Lisbon, Bali, or Chiang Mai often skew heavily male, frequently devolve into networking pitches or crypto discussions, and rarely lead to deeper friendships. You meet dozens of people passing through, exchange Instagrams, and never see them again.
For introverts or people seeking community rather than contacts, this transactional social environment can feel lonelier than being actually alone.
The Hobbies That Don't Travel
Pre-nomad life, they did photography, roller skating, and longboarding. "I don't have any of these with me, and my body can't take it as hard nowadays," they wrote.
This gets at a hidden cost of perpetual travel: you can only bring what fits in a backpack or suitcase. Hobbies requiring equipment, local infrastructure, or physical space become impossible.
Roller skating needs smooth pavement and familiarity with routes. Photography gear is heavy and theft-risky. Even simpler hobbies like cooking require a real kitchen, not an Airbnb kitchenette.
So they end up "playing Nintendo on my free time" - the only hobby portable enough and low-energy enough to sustain while constantly moving. "But of course it would be more fun with others," they added.
Dating Apps in Mediterranean Countries
"I also tried dating apps, but they are hit and miss. In most Mediterranean countries they don't work for an introvert like me. Had better luck in places like London."
This points to another nomad challenge: dating difficulty compounds loneliness. Dating apps work best when you have time to develop connections - coffee dates, follow-up meetups, building rapport. Moving every 3-6 months means relationships either become short-term flings or long-distance complications.
For introverts who struggle with quick connections, the constant clock pressure ("I'm only here for two more months") makes dating feel futile.
The Home Base Problem
"I also don't feel like I have a homebase anymore," they wrote. "Due to moving around for at least 10-20 years in my life, I don't have steady friends anywhere and no place where I feel I belong. I'm dual citizen as well and my family are scattered across different places."
This may be the core issue. Location independence sounds freeing until you realize belonging requires location. Deep friendships form through repeated mundane encounters - running into neighbors, attending the same gym class weekly, becoming a regular at a coffee shop where baristas know your order.
When you're perpetually new everywhere, you're perpetually on the outside. Three months isn't long enough to transition from "visitor" to "local." Six months might be, but then you leave.
The result: no steady friends anywhere, no sense of belonging anywhere. Freedom from place becomes isolation from people.
Common Nomad Responses
Commenters offered several suggestions:
Stay longer in one place: Multiple people advocated 6-12 month stays minimum to build actual community. "Slow travel" reduces the transient feeling.
Choose your base strategically: Some cities have better social infrastructure for nomads - Lisbon, Mexico City, Buenos Aires were mentioned. Others suggested finding "home bases" to return to repeatedly rather than constant new destinations.
Join structured communities: Coworking spaces with social events, language classes, sports leagues - anything with regular attendance where you see the same people weekly.
Consider the entrepreneurship factor: Several commenters noted that being a solopreneur plus a nomad compounds isolation. At least employed nomads have Slack channels and video calls. Solo entrepreneurs have neither coworkers nor local colleagues.
Therapy: Multiple people gently suggested professional help for depression, noting that location changes won't fix clinical mental health issues.
Reconsider the lifestyle: Some bluntly asked: if this isn't working after 3-4 years, why continue? The sunk cost fallacy applies to lifestyles too.
The Instagram vs. Reality Gap
The digital nomad lifestyle is relentlessly marketed as freedom, adventure, and self-actualization. Instagram shows laptops on beaches, mountain sunsets, exotic street food, and smiling nomads in coworking spaces.
What it doesn't show: - Working alone in your apartment for 8 hours - Eating the same cheap meal repeatedly because you don't know the good restaurants yet - Struggling to make friends when everyone else is also transient - Giving up hobbies because they don't fit the lifestyle - The low-grade loneliness that becomes background noise
"I thought the freedom would make me happier," one commenter wrote. "Turns out I needed structure, routine, and familiar faces more than I needed new experiences."
Is the Nomad Lifestyle Sustainable?
For some people - extroverts, those with remote jobs providing built-in social connection, people traveling with partners, short-term nomads (1-2 years) - the lifestyle works beautifully.
But for solo entrepreneurs, introverts, or people doing it for many years, the isolation can become corrosive. The paradox is real: unlimited freedom in where you live can trap you in loneliness.
As another commenter summarized: "The best travel isn't about the destination - it's about what you learn along the way. Sometimes what you learn is that you need to stop traveling."
For the 38-year-old solopreneur, the solution may not be finding the right nomad destination. It may be questioning whether the nomad lifestyle itself aligns with their actual needs for community, routine, and belonging.
Freedom is only valuable if it makes you freer. If it's making you lonelier, it's time to reassess.
