A 21-year-old solo traveler came home devastated after cutting her international trip short due to anxiety about being truly alone for the first time. Her story reveals the rarely-discussed reality that not all solo travel experiences end in Instagram-worthy triumph.
The traveler had "solo traveled" before within her own country, meeting people at destinations. But after a friend left at the first international stop, the prospect of being genuinely alone in an unfamiliar country across the world triggered overwhelming anxiety. She booked a flight home shortly after being alone for the first time.
Now home, she feels devastated. "I worked so hard to be able to go on that trip and I feel like I didn't really give it a chance before coming home," she wrote on r/solotravel.
The vulnerable post sparked 60 comments—many from travelers sharing similar experiences that social media's highlight reels rarely show.
Solo travel has surged in popularity, driven partly by Instagram and TikTok content showing empowered individuals conquering fears and finding themselves in exotic locations. The narrative emphasizes growth, confidence, and life-changing experiences. What gets discussed far less: the genuine difficulty of being alone in unfamiliar places, especially for first-timers.
Several commenters validated the experience. One shared cutting a Europe trip short after three days due to loneliness. Another described panic attacks in Southeast Asia that led to an early departure. A third mentioned needing multiple attempts before successfully completing a solo international trip.
The pattern suggests a gap between how solo travel gets marketed and the actual experience—particularly for travelers making the leap from domestic trips or traveling with friends to genuine solo international adventure.
Factors that make first solo international travel harder:
• Language barriers creating isolation beyond just ordering food—the inability to have casual conversations
• Safety concerns that feel more acute when alone, especially for young women
• Decision fatigue from making every choice alone, with no one to share planning burden
• Lack of shared experiences - Seeing something amazing but having no one to turn to and say "wow"
• Evening loneliness - Days might be fine, but nights alone in unfamiliar rooms can trigger anxiety
• The weight of expectations - Feeling like you "should" love it based on others' experiences
Experienced solo travelers offered practical suggestions. Many recommended starting with social accommodations like hostels where meeting other travelers happens naturally. Others suggested booking group activities (walking tours, cooking classes) to provide structured social interaction while maintaining solo travel flexibility.
Several noted that solo travel is a skill that develops over time, not an inherent trait some people have and others lack. The first solo trip feeling overwhelming doesn't mean solo travel isn't for you—it means you're learning.
One commenter shared taking five solo trips before feeling genuinely comfortable. Another described the first three days of any solo trip still feeling anxious before settling in. A seasoned solo traveler mentioned still experiencing loneliness on long trips, just having developed coping strategies.
The mental health dimension matters too. Psychology research on solo travel shows it can provide significant mental health benefits—increased confidence, self-reliance, and clarity—but also carries risks for people with anxiety disorders or those going through difficult life transitions.
Pushing through anxiety when it feels overwhelming isn't brave—it's potentially harmful. Recognizing limits and making the choice to return home demonstrates self-awareness, not failure.
Strategies for building toward solo international travel:
• Start with weekend trips to nearby cities alone
• Try solo trips to places where you speak the language
• Choose destinations known for welcoming solo travelers (hostels, social culture)
• Book a short trip (3-5 days) rather than committing to weeks
• Plan one group activity daily to ensure social interaction
• Stay in social accommodations, not isolated hotels
• Join online communities (like r/solotravel) for real-time support while traveling
• Have contingency plans—knowing you can come home if needed reduces pressure
Several travelers mentioned that understanding the difference between productive discomfort (growth zone) and harmful distress (anxiety zone) is crucial. Pushing slightly beyond comfort builds confidence. Pushing into genuine panic causes trauma.
The original poster received overwhelming support. Commenters emphasized that coming home was a valid choice, that she can try again when ready, and that one challenging experience doesn't define her travel future.
One particularly helpful response noted: "You didn't fail at solo travel. You succeeded at recognizing your limits and prioritizing your mental health. Those are crucial travel skills."
The conversation illustrates how social media's solo travel content often omits the struggles—the lonely dinners, the moments of doubt, the times when anxiety overshadows adventure. Presenting only triumphant narratives sets unrealistic expectations that make real experiences feel like failures.
Multiple commenters mentioned feeling relieved to see honest discussion about solo travel challenges, noting that influencer content made them feel inadequate when their own trips weren't constant joy.
The best travel isn't about the destination—it's about what you learn along the way. And sometimes what you learn is that you're not ready yet—and that's okay. The destinations will still be there when you are.
