He's 19 years old, Australian, and sitting alone in a Shanghai hotel room fighting back tears. His e-SIM isn't working, his hostel was filthy, and he's feeling a level of loneliness he's never experienced before. His story—shared candidly on r/solotravel—reveals the harsh realities of first-time solo travel that Instagram influencers rarely mention.
"I feel so damn lonely," he wrote. "When will this feeling go away and I can finally start enjoying myself?"
The answer from experienced travelers was compassionate but honest: This is completely normal, and it might take a few days—but you need to take action, not just wait it out.
His journey started promisingly. After his mother dropped him at the airport, he flew to Hong Kong and stayed with a friend's family for five days. He felt confident about his train to Shanghai. Then everything fell apart.
Arriving at night in the rain, his pre-arranged e-SIM didn't work. His phone died despite barely using it. He eventually found a kind Starbucks worker who let him charge his phone and use wifi to call a taxi. The hostel was worse than he imagined—reeking of smoke, with English-speaking staff who actually couldn't speak English, and a dorm room filled with others' shoes, clothes, and a "musty feet smell."
He upgraded to a nicer hotel across the street—a luxury he was fortunate to afford. But the better room didn't solve the real problem: crushing loneliness in a country where he doesn't speak the language and has no connections.
"I've never really been close with them but I find myself missing my mum especially so much, it's a feeling I've never felt before," he wrote.
First-time solo travelers in culturally and linguistically distant countries often experience what psychologists call "acute culture shock"—a disorienting psychological response that goes far beyond missing home comforts.
According to research from the American Psychological Association, culture shock typically follows a U-curve pattern: initial excitement, followed by a crisis phase (where this traveler currently is), gradual adjustment, and eventual adaptation.
