The Instagram version of solo travel features big groups, party hostels, and constant socializing. But a growing number of travelers are questioning whether that's actually what they want — or just what they think they're supposed to want.
A traveler two weeks into their first solo trip shared a candid assessment in r/solotravel: joining a group of 15 at a hostel felt overwhelming, not liberating. "I wondered if being on my own with complete strangers would change how I felt about these situations but I still felt quite out my comfort zone and couldn't relax."
The realization challenges solo travel's dominant narrative. At 24, the traveler felt pressure to embrace the big group party hostel scene — that's what solo travel looks like online, and what people their age are "supposed" to enjoy. But smaller meetups with 2-3 people felt more meaningful and memorable.
The question posed — "I'm wondering how others make connections on their trips?" — sparked responses from fellow travelers experiencing the same disconnect. The big group hostel scene works for some people. For others, it's performative socializing that never gets past "who are you, where you're from, why and how long you're travelling."
The traveler used apps like HostelWorld and TravelLadies to arrange smaller meetups, spending hours "exploring bars, drawing, listening to music." Those experiences felt more valuable than overwhelming common room gatherings, even though they didn't look as impressive on social media.
The deeper question: Is this preference genuine, or fear? "I'm just not sure if it's calling to me on this trip, or I'm just too scared?" the post asked. It's a question many solo travelers face but few discuss publicly.
The answer likely varies by person. Some travelers thrive in big groups and find that energy rejuvenating. Others find it draining, preferring depth over breadth in their connections. Neither approach is wrong, but social media and hostel marketing heavily favor the former.
For travelers feeling pressure to embrace big group culture, the responses offered reassurance: . Meaningful travel happens in small conversations over coffee, not just in hostel common rooms with 15 people.
