A digital nomad who spent three years working alone across multiple countries has shared a sobering reflection on workaholism, isolation, and losing the ability to connect with people despite constant travel - addressing the dark side of the "laptop lifestyle" that promotional content rarely mentions.
The post, titled "How to actually live life again after years spent in isolation working at home?" on r/digitalnomad, describes a pattern familiar to long-term remote workers: using business-building as an excuse to avoid human connection, becoming closed off despite people approaching and trying to engage, and reaching early thirties having traveled extensively but feeling disconnected from life itself.
"In my head I've thought I need to get rich then I can live... I'm done with that now... I just need to live... But how?" the nomad wrote. "It's like I'm not human anymore, I go to the gym and avoid speaking to anyone."
The trajectory began with escaping a dysfunctional household, becoming independent early, and building a small business while traveling through Australasia and Europe as a backpacker. Early experiences included friendships and relationships - the social experiences that make travel meaningful.
But a pattern emerged: using constant movement to avoid staying present. "I realise a lot of it was running from myself/to the next thing," the nomad acknowledged. Returning to their hometown felt intolerable, a common experience among location-independent workers who outgrow their origin places but never establish roots elsewhere.
The last three years intensified the isolation - working alone from laptops in different countries, maintaining routines (gym, running, errands, beach) but systematically avoiding connection despite opportunities. "DESPITE people approaching me/talking with me on multiple occasions, I just became so closed off," they wrote in capitals, emphasizing the contradiction.
Therapy has addressed some underlying issues, and life circumstances have improved measurably. Yet the behavioral patterns remain: the automatic avoidance, the inability to engage when opportunities arise, the muscle memory of isolation.
The post resonates because it contradicts digital nomad marketing narratives. Social media and nomad content creators emphasize freedom, adventure, exotic locations, and the ability to work from anywhere. They rarely discuss the isolation of working alone in unfamiliar cultures, the shallow connections that come from constant movement, or how the lack of stable community can compound existing tendencies toward withdrawal.
The nomad's business success makes the situation more complex - they've achieved the goal (location independence, income, travel), yet find themselves asking fundamental questions about how to actually live rather than simply exist and work.
Responses to the post, while not included in the data, likely offer familiar advice: join group activities, commit to staying somewhere longer, volunteer, take classes, seek situations that force interaction. The challenge isn't knowing what to do - it's overcoming years of behavioral conditioning and the safety that isolation provides.
The "get rich then live" mentality reflects a broader issue in hustle culture and remote work communities. The focus on financial independence, passive income, and business scaling can become all-consuming, with present experience deferred indefinitely in service of future freedom. When the future arrives, the capacity for connection and presence may have atrophied.
The nomad describes therapy as ongoing, suggesting awareness that the challenges run deeper than logistics or lifestyle choices. Growing up in "some of the worst" situations (details withheld) creates patterns that don't disappear simply by changing location or achieving business success.
The post serves as counterpoint to aspirational digital nomad narratives - a reminder that movement doesn't equal growth, freedom doesn't equal fulfillment, and the ability to work from anywhere doesn't solve fundamental questions about how to connect with others and be present in your own life.
For prospective nomads, the message isn't "don't do it" - it's recognition that location independence amplifies whatever tendencies you bring to it. Workaholism becomes easier without office hours or colleagues. Avoidance becomes simpler when you can always move to the next city. Isolation becomes default when you're always the foreigner, always the temporary visitor.
The nomad's question - "how to actually live life again?" - doesn't have a simple answer. But asking it publicly, acknowledging the pattern, and expressing willingness to change represents the first step beyond the isolation that constant movement can enable.
